Dream State

I spend way too much time in front of a t.v. that yields not one quality show unless HBO is in the mix. Music in my ears to produce that dream-state that is so lovely in the morning hours to bring me to my knees with thoughts and emotions that bubble over and brim to the top of the cup, waiting for the last drop to spill  the contents to overflowing. I write with my eyes closed, so hopefully my fingers are pressing the right keys.  Celtic music with humming and light piano in my ears.  I will begin to find many prompts today from which to refresh and write. I will read a story and begin a critique. I have a cup that runs over of ideas from which to draw from. and a well worn notebook from where to store it all. Notes and ideas and doodles. This pink notebook will hold it all. I did not dream. I only had residual chest pains. I come from love and not from fear. I see Tamara as a scared little girl that cannot not be challenged and must always be in control at every avenue. Ah, well, Sheena is my example. I am not a leader and therefore I am? Hooves of the half goat half leprechauns? What are those called? It is flute and violin. Wish I knew the names of all the instruments playing. But I don't. Dram-state, dream-sate. Wild blackberries, well, not so much wild, Ernie's blackberries. That beautiful garden that grew behind the house on 2nd. The fruit trees on the other side. Mary and Sally and Steve, and Allen and so many other children and her mother still a fairy, calling Mary home in her sing-song voice. and losing Mary so young so young. How is it that she remained chill and lovely, at least in my memories. I have finally given over to the desired dream of having enough time in my lifetime to write. I have given up the ghost to be a student with a mission to graduate. It is not gonna happen in this lifetime for sure as I will always pursue this dream state within reality to show my love for writing. I want to  craft and belong to a group next. Add that to my list of goals for the weekend. I want to read and write and write and critique. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid.  Empty mind emptiness. That is okay to not be so full of thought that it overwhelms and begins to stuff down because it is so full. I am loving my life again. I am loving that I have allowed for some sense of peace by giving to me in a form and fashion that stretches to limits of my imagination creativity burst of free will and damn be the cost to do it. School of hard knocks.